 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Let's Talk About Sex
Related Product
If you are interested in this story, you may also be interested in these parent videos.This Week's Top Stories
Most Popular Stories
| Wednesday, January 6th, 2010 | | CWK Producer |
“On your checkoff list, by age eight they ought to know the facts of life.”
– Richard Eyre, Ph.D., Psychologist
Sometimes when parents talk to their kids about sex, they're a little late. A survey from UCLA and the Rand Corporation reports that over 40 percent of girls and 70 percent of boys have already had sex when their parents sat them down for the "sex talk." When is a good time to talk about the birds and the bees?
Experts say it's earlier than you may think.
By the 2nd or 3rd grade, kids can control a yo-yo, sit through a couple hours of class and ride a two-wheel bike. And, though it's controversial, some say it's also time for another rite of passage.
"On your checkoff list, by age eight they ought to know the facts of life," says psychologist, Dr. Richard Eyre.
Charity, 11, had the "talk" at that age. "On my eighth birthday they had a big talk with me and when we went to a nice restaurant and they had this book," she remembers.
Books with kid-friendly illustrations and simple language are a great tool to discuss the topic of sex. Experts say specifically, by age eight, most kids can handle the subject matter.
And, if parents wait, they've missed a window of opportunity.
"I think if you talk to kids much before eight about sex their reaction is going to be 'yuck'. If you talk to them much after eight their reaction is going to be 'so... so. I already knew all that'," says Eyre. "But if you talk to them positively when they are eight, their reaction is going to be 'wow'."
Research shows the earlier kids learn about sex, the less likely they are to have sex at an early age.
And, experts say, talk to the early and often. Don't wait for the child to bring up the subject. "We think it is a mistake to wait for questions," says Eyre. "We think parents should be pre-emptive about sex and have the talk before questions start coming."
What We Need To Know
Open communication and accurate information from parents increase the chance that teens will postpone sex. According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, in talking with your child or adolescent, it is helpful to:
- Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.
- Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.
- Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
- Try to determine your child's level of knowledge and understanding.
- Keep your sense of humor and don't be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
- Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one's partner.
- Be open in sharing your values and concerns.
- Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.
- Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.
By developing open, honest and ongoing communication about responsibility, sex and choice, parents can help their youngsters learn about sex in a healthy and positive manner.
Resources
- Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
