Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

| CWK Producer

Many parents try to jumpstart their youngsters’ education by teaching them colors, letters, and reading to them long before they head for school.  But, it turns out there may be another way to help kids excel in school that will surprise you.

Since the time she was little, Kristen has been doing chores around the house.

“When I was cleaning she always liked to clean, so I would give her a dust rag or feather duster to dust around,” says her mother, Denise Harold.

Now at 5, she sets the table, helps with the dishes… vacuums the floor

“And without being told she goes into the laundry room and gets the vacuum and vacuums up,” says Mrs. Harold,  “(then) Wraps up the cord puts away the vacuum, I never even knew that it happened.”

Kristen is helping her mom now… but she also may be increasing the chance she’ll do better in school later.

According to a study of 379 children published in the ‘Journal of Personality’, kids who had more responsibilities at age five, were more likely to have better grades and better behavior in school as 8-year-olds.

“When you get to school you have multiple step direction of things that children are expected to do,” explains Psychologist Laura Mee, Ph.D., “If they’ve been practicing that and listening to parents and following thing in a sequence at home for several years… I think it is more automatic for them.”

She says simple chores also help a child develop a sense of confidence, independence. “And then feeling more self confidence that then helps you have more mastery in school,” says Dr. Mee.

She says if parents are paying attention, they’ll get cues from their child when they want to help out. “So if you can catch them when they want to do things independently, it’s a great time to encourage that and help them move forward,” says Dr. Mee.

Mrs. Harold agrees, “I know too many parents who their take is, it’s easier if I do it myself. I’m in too much of a hurry I’ve got to get this done, let me take care of it… no you sit down.”

Tips for Parents

Giving your preschooler chores he or she can handle is a good way to build self-confidence and responsibility in your child. Consider the following list of chores developed by experts at Louisiana State University Ag Center:

• Setting the table
• Clearing their plates after a meal
• Reporting the weather
• Helping clean up his or her room
• Picking up after completing a task
• Watering plants or feeding pets

As a parent, you have a great deal of influence on your child’s attitude toward responsibility. If you put off doing unpleasant tasks around the house or make promises and never fulfill them, don’t be surprised if your child adopts a similar unreliable manner. According to the OSU Extension Service, you must expect your child to act responsibly at an early age.Part of growing up is learning how to take care of oneself and care for others. If your child doesn’t learn this lesson, he or she will be ill prepared for life.

Experts for the Center for Effective Parenting say that your child can take on more responsibility than you might think, and he or she will enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that work provides him or her. They offer the following tips for raising your child to be responsible:

• Let your child perform tasks for himself or herself – Even very young children begin to show an interest in performing tasks for themselves. You can encourage independence by letting your child perform tasks for himself or herself as soon as he or she expresses a desire to do so. Focus on your child’s effort, and avoid being critical of the end product.
• Let your child help with challenging tasks – Encourage your child to try to perform new tasks and to face new challenges. By doing so, you will certainly boost your child’s sense of competence.
• Encourage your child to make decisions – Begin encouraging decision-making while your child is young. At first, choices should be kept simple, like allowing your child to choose from two outfits which one to wear. As your child ages, encourage him or her to make more complex decisions. Your child will learn to make good choices by being given choices.
• Learn to model responsibility and independence – Children learn by watching their parents. One of the best ways for you to teach your child to behave responsibly and independently is by displaying those behaviors yourself. Let your child see you make decisions without wavering and take care of responsibilities in an appropriate manner.
• Help and encourage your child to solve his or her own problems – Teach your child the importance of coming up with his or her own solutions to problems. The ability to problem-solve is a skill that will be useful throughout your child’s life. It will also aid in his or her development of confidence and independence.
• Encourage your child to take risks – Taking risks involves facing potential failure. Many parents try to shield their children from the disappointment of failure, and by doing so they do their children a disservice. Your child needs to take risks in order to grow. He or she must experience failure in order to learn how to cope with it.
• Be there to provide support when needed – Even the most independent-minded children need to lean on their parents from time to time. Make an effort to be available to your child and to provide support when needed. If your child knows you will be there when he or she needs you, your child will have the confidence needed to explore the world.
• Provide adequate discipline – Children need structure in their lives to feel secure. Appropriate discipline provides this structure. Your child needs to know what to expect from you and what you expect from him or her. Consistent discipline helps your child learn about what’s expected of him or her. If your child knows what to expect, he or she will feel more in control of his or her life and is thus more likely to behave in responsible and independent ways.

References

• Louisiana State University Ag Center
• Oregon State University Extension Service
• Center for Effective Parenting

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