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Parents Often Assign Different Chores to Girls and Boys
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| Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 | Emily Halevy | CWK Producer |
“What we’re talking about is a cumulative effect - and a cumulative or an accumulation of one message after another - that first begins with parents and then continues with peers, teachers, media, etcetera, etcetera.”
– Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist
A new study from the University of Michigan might be titled, “The Gender Wars Over Household Chores.” The research shows that parents assign different chores to girls than to boys - and often, they do it subconsciously.
“Go ahead and take the garbage out, Stephen,” says Sharon Grove, mother of three.
In this house, Stephen takes out the trash and cares for the dog - while daughters Laura and Megan wash the dishes, set the table and do the laundry.
But do their parents assign chores based on gender?
“Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it,” says Sharon. “Maybe with Stephen taking out the garbage, that just seems to be something that he can just grab and take - and doesn’t mind if he gets garbage on himself.”
Researchers from the University of Michigan found that, in many families, boys mow the lawn and take out the trash - while girls cook and clean.
Which raises the question: Is it terrible to make boys take out the trash, for example, and to have girls clean the kitchen?
“Of course not,” says Dr. Patti Owen-Smith, a psychologist at Emory University. “What we’re talking about is a cumulative effect - and a cumulative or an accumulation of one message after another - that first begins with parents and then continues with peers, teachers, media, etcetera, etcetera.”
She says that message can be a narrow “box”, defining what boys and girls can do – and, more importantly, what they cannot. It’s limiting, she says - and when it comes to chores, there’s a better way.
“I think parents should listen to their children, and let their children take the lead in terms of choices of activities,” says Owen-Smith.
Stephen says he doesn’t want to wash the dishes, but his sisters could probably manage his chores.
“Girls can take out the trash and get the mail, bring the dog out,” he says. “It’s not that hard.”
Tips for Parents
- Gender role stereotyping restricts human potential, and also contributes to an intolerance of other people who do not adhere to those stereotypes. (Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Parents socialize their children stereotypically in three major ways: chores, sports and play activities, and in the subject matter they discuss. Just as girls play with dolls and boys play with trains, parents talk to their daughters about sadness, and talk to their sons about anger. (Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Parents have very little control over the other messages children get from peers, teachers and the media. Help your child maximize their full potential by not limiting them by gender. (Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Boys actually have a much harder time breaking gender stereotypes. Parents, teachers, friends and society often discourage the violation of masculine activities by boys. (Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Offer a broad range of chores and activities that need to be done and give your child the freedom and responsibility for choosing. (Patti Owen-Smith, Ph.D., psychologist)
References
- University of Michigan Institute for Social Research
- Emory University
