 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Teacher Bullies, Part One: It Can Affect a Child’s Self-Esteem
Related Product
If you are interested in this story, you may also be interested in these parent videos:This Week's Top Stories
Most Popular Stories
| Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 | Emily Halevy | CWK Producer |
“As adults, you’re able to say, ‘oh, I’m quitting this job,’ you know, or ‘I’m leaving this bad relationship.’ As a student you don’t have that liberty, you don’t have [the option] available to you to just say, ‘well, I’m going to leave this situation’.”
– Tana Hall, M.Ed, licensed professional counselor
When we hear the word “bullying,” most often we think of kids being cruel to each other. But in American classrooms, there is another kind of bullying - that new research from the Menninger Clinic suggests goes on all the time.
The victim is a student - the bully is a teacher.
“In class, some teachers may say, ‘Oh that’s the stupidest answer I’ve ever heard’,” says 15-year-old Brittany Bach. “Or like, I’m terrible at math, so I have trouble with math - and the teacher might bring me down, saying, ‘No that’s wrong, you’re doing it all wrong. This is stupid, you can’t do it like that’.”
13-year-old Spencer Vaughn had a similar problem, “Back in sixth grade I had this Spanish teacher and she clearly just kind of hated me,” he says. “Like when some people would sleep in class and break all the rules and everything, however, if I like rolled my eyes at something weird she said, she’d yell at me or give me a referral or something like that."
According to a recent survey, 45 percent of teachers admitted to bullying students in their class.
“In some cases, teachers just pick, pick, pick at the same child over and over again,” explains Dr. Olga Jarrett, “and that’s what bullying is.”
From elementary school on, kids are subject to the whims of the teacher. And by law the kids cannot leave.
“Teachers and authority figures in general, but [the] teacher and student relationship in particular is one that defines a child’s life for six-seven hours a day, five days a week, and it’s a situation that’s mandated by the state to be in everyday,” says Tana Hall, M.Ed, a licensed professional counselor.
To avoid the hurt, some kids will choose not to go to class, or not to go to school at all.
19-year-old Ashley Kelley had a chemistry teacher who picked on her. “It makes me feel small,” she says. “When I had his class I always skipped it - cause I don’t like seeing him or hearing what he has to say about my hair or what type of work I do.”
And it’s not long before missing class begins affecting your grades.
“Suddenly you’re missing [class] and suddenly your grade drops because you’re not there and so sure, it can - when you don’t feel good about the situation and you avoid it, that can bring your grades down,” explains Hall.
What’s more, she says, adult bullying sends a message to kids: “When a teacher bullies another student, that automatically gives permission for all those students in the class to treat that student that way.”
She says the first step for parents is to teach their children that bullying is never acceptable - even when the bully is a teacher.
“Just because they happen to be authority, doesn’t mean they’re right,” she says, “and we need to use our brains to go, okay, it is my teacher, but teachers are people and people make mistakes and this person is making a mistake, I don’t feel good about it, what can I do?”
What We Need To Know
- Bullying is not simply physical. It can be a snide remark, a verbal stab in the back, cutting comments, shunning – or not allowing someone to participate, through indirect as well as direct action. (Jim Feffer, Civil Litigation Attorney)
- Start teaching anti-bullying and conflict-resolution skills when your children are young. It will become a part of who they are. (Ava de la Sota, Health Educator)
- Many times, kids won’t be able to verbalize what is happening or how they feel about bullying. Either they don’t have the words or they’re not mature enough to describe the feelings. Help give your children the vocabulary to describe what they are experiencing. (Tana Hall, M.Ed., licensed professional counselor)
- At least 60 to 70 percent of middle school kids and high school kids report that they’ve been involved in some kind of bullying incident. Kids need to know that bullying and harassment are a problem. Have open discussions about it, and ensure there’s a collective responsibility - that we, in our school, are going to make sure that this isn’t going to happen. (Sandra Graham, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Watch for indications that your child is being bullied. They may suddenly and frequently say they have a headache, sore throat or stomachache when you know they’re not really sick. Those maladies can be warning signs that somehow school has become an unpleasant experience for them. Talk about it with them to get them to open up to you, and to tell you what is going on. Let them know they shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about harassment experiences. (Sandra Graham, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Just because you may not have felt the same way your child does in that situation, does not mean you shouldn’t validate their feelings. Listen openly and let your child tell you how they are feeling. (Tana Hall, M.Ed., licensed professional counselor)
Resources
- National Education Association
- National Mental Heath Association
- National Crime Prevention Council
