Do Spas for Kids Send the Wrong Message to Young Girls?

“What we want to do is give girls a good sense of who they are on the inside - and certainly looking pretty and feeling pretty is fine, but we don’t want them to think that that’s what makes up their self-worth.”

– Dina Zeckhausen, Ph.D, psychologist

Make-up, manicures and pedicures, styled hair, skimpy clothing: all of these used to be reserved for women, and then teenaged girls. But now, some customers are girls just starting elementary school.

Is all of this just fun or something worse?

For their fifth birthday, twins Sarah and Adelyn took a few friends to their favorite salon.

“We put on makeup, we had cake, we dressed up, they made our hair,” says Adelyn.

They had a “princess party”- part of a growing trend for very young girls.

“We do a special pamper package here at Snip-It’s, where we get their hair done in a fancy party style, they get their hair up in an up-do and curls and some glitter and jewels, we do a mini-manicure and we do makeup,” says salon owner Elizabeth Tralongo.

But why would a five-year-old need a manicure, much less know what one is?

Experts say one answer is the media.

“Kids are now exposed to all these Hollywood starlets who are doing these kinds of things - and they think it’s the latest fun thing to do,” says psychologist Dina Zeckhausen.

Some argue this trend is harmless, but others say it’s too much, too soon.

“I think that starting these parties younger and younger is giving girls the message earlier and earlier - that it’s really about how you look instead of who you are and what you can do,” Zeckhausen explains.

She says parents have to constantly fight against a culture that emphasizes physical appearance over almost everything else:

“Certainly, feeling good about yourself physically can make you feel good about yourself as a person. But what’s happening is body image is becoming a higher and higher percentage of what makes up our self-esteem.”

Once in a while being pampered is fine, says Zeckhausen. But, she says, like most things in life, “it’s about balance. I think there’s nothing wrong with a little girl painting her fingernails and that’s fine, but we need to be - we need to look at what are all the messages that we give our kids about how they look.”

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• Teens are bombarded with over 1,200 ads a day, most of which are images of perfection. Moms and dads can help negate those messages by explaining to their kids that there is no such thing as ‘perfect.’ (Rick Kilmer, Ph.D, licensed psychologist)
• Research shows that when girls are involved in sports, they tend to have much better self-esteem. Their body image becomes more about what they can do, and less about how they look. (Dina Zeckhausen, Ph.D, psychologist)
• Don’t talk about diets, about body hatred, or about how a girl’s mother ‘let herself go.’ Kids hearing those messages will think that love is connected to physical image, and is conditional. (Rick Kilmer, Ph.D, licensed psychologist)
• Instead of hosting a princess party for your daughter, try hosting a rock-climbing party or tennis party. Help the girls feel strong and confident and physically competent, instead of just cute and pretty. (Dina Zeckhausen, Ph.D, psychologist)

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• Advocates for Youth
• Eating Disorders Information Network
• Powers Ferry Psychological Associates
• Turn Beauty Inside Out Campaign

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