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Bullying Keeps Some Kids Away from Classes
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| Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006 | Emily Halevy | CWK Producer |
“We know that there’s a sense that kids have, that frequently when somebody does engage in bullying nothing happens. That’s sometimes because it’s viewed as, ‘this is just what kids do’ or it’s just not recognized as bullying or something out of the ordinary that should not be accepted.”
– Joel Meyers, Ph.D, psychologist
According to a recent survey released by the CDC, six percent of U.S. high school students say they’ve missed at least one day of school because they’re afraid of being bullied or harassed.
Andre Johnson remembers some of the verbal harassment he dealt with at school. “You faggot, you got a little sugar in your tank, sissy,” were just some of the names he was called.
“There would be times when I just wouldn’t go to class,” he says.
Every day, thousands of kids like Andre are afraid to go to school for similar reasons.
Experts say one of the biggest problems is that some adults and children still view bullying as normal teenage behavior.
“We know that there’s a sense that kids have, that frequently when somebody does engage in bullying nothing happens,” explains psychologist Joel Meyers. “That’s sometimes because it’s viewed as, ‘this is just what kids do’ or it’s just not recognized as bullying or something out of the ordinary that should not be accepted.”
He says schools need to have clear and accurate policies on bullying, confidential ways to report harassment, a safe haven within the school. “But more importantly,” says Meyers, “I think you need to have mechanisms in place where teachers learn what bullying is, so they know how to identify it, so they know how to respond, so they don’t think, ‘oh, that’s just kids, that’s just what kids do’.”
And, experts say, parents shouldn’t underestimate their power within the school.
“Parents have got to realize that it’s just not the schools that can do this,” explains Vermont state representative Peter Hunt. “The schools receive these kids. The schools really have to have the parents’ support.”
With support from his mother and friends, Andre was able to overcome the harassment and, best of all, accept himself.
“It was like around my junior year when I started not to care anymore,” he says, “and I was like, ‘okay, I don’t care anymore - who knows, who don’t knows, whatever. You like it, you don’t like it, so what. It’s me, not you.”
What We Need To Know
- Bullying issues are not simply physical - someone pushing and shoving someone in line, beating them up, locking them in a locker or sticking their head in the toilet. It can be a snide remark, a verbal stab in the back, cutting comments, shunning – or not allowing someone to participate, through indirect as well as direct action. (Jim Feffer, Civil Litigation Attorney)
- Start teaching anti-bullying and conflict-resolution skills when your children are young. It will become a part of who they are. (Ava de la Sota, Health Educator)
- At least 60 to 70 percent of middle school kids and high school kids report that they’ve been involved in some kind of bullying incident. Kids need to know that bullying and harassment are a problem. Have open discussions about it, and ensure there’s a collective responsibility - that we, in our school, are going to make sure that this isn’t going to happen. (Sandra Graham, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Watch for indications that your child is being bullied – they suddenly and frequently say they have a headache, sore throat, or a stomach ache when you know they’re not really sick Those are warning signs that somehow school has become an unpleasant experience for them. Talk about it with them, to get them to open up to you, and to tell you what is going on. Let them know they shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about harassment experiences. (Sandra Graham, Ph.D., psychologist)
- Also look for any changes in behavior, such as a decline in grades and a lack of friendships within the school. Those all could be signs that something else is going on in their personal life. (Joel Meyers, Ph.D, psychologist)
- It is critically important not to blame the victim. Recognize the environmental factors within the school, and work on changing the school climate, rather than saying the victim doesn’t fit in. (Joel Meyers, Ph.D, psychologist)
- You need to report bullying and harassment. If there’s anything, there’s safety and protection in reporting it. It’s when you don’t report such incidents that you can expect that it’s going to get worse. (Rep. Peter Hunt, D-Vt. State House)
Resources
- Georgia State University
- National Education Association
- National Mental Heath Association
- National Crime Prevention Council
- The Center for Research on School Safety, School Climate, and Classroom Management
