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Spring Break
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By Robert Seith
CWK Senior Producer |
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"They
end up being characters of themselves. [They] give up being
the actual person that they are; they're 'The Kid on Spring
Break.'"
-Dr. Robert Simmerman, a psychologist-
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| Ask a sampling of teens what spring break means
to them, and you get answers similar to these:
"Binge Drinking"
"People on balconies taking their clothes off; kids
getting drunk on the beach"
"Yeah, you do get drunk; there is underage drinking
and stuff."
But experts say that spring break can also be a final testing
ground for a high school senior to show self-restraint and
maturity.
"People expect you to go crazy on spring break and like
to hear stories about what you've done
but most people,
I don't think so," 17-year-old Laura Scherer says.
"I think that if you use good judgment at home, you're
probably going to use good judgment when you're out somewhere
foreign to you," adds Maltby Fowler, 18.
Can your kids handle the risks involved?
Experts say that part of the answer depends on how much practice
they've had when they were young.
Sleepovers, concerts and parties are all opportunities for
children to learn to act responsibly among their peers.
"Where they have to use this judgment not for a four-day
period, but for a four-hour period," says Dr. Robert
Simmerman, a psychologist.
He says that if you let them take a trip for spring break,
find out who's going and where they're staying. Then, make
sure that you talk about limits.
"You know what I'd do? I'd bring all the peers together
that were going to go and I'd have a group discussion, with
the peers and the parents, that way the likelihood of somebody
keeping their head and because what we know about adolescence
is it's peers that have the most influence," Dr. Simmerman
says.
Still, traveling teens will be put to the test facing risks
like underage drinking, sex and accidents.
So parents do have another alternative: Say no.
"Adolescents depend upon us as parents to set the limits
so that they don't have to. But yet, they can still complain
about it - 'My dad's unreasonable; he's not going to let me
go to Florida with a bunch of strangers and drink and swim
and jump off balconies.' So be it," Dr. Simmerman says.
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Set Clear
Rules, Limits for Spring Break Behavior
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By Pam Frazier
CWK Network, Inc.
Spring break is a time-honored
tradition for many high school and college students, one that
involves wild parties, lots of flirting and, yes, even sex.
But over the last several years, tales of alcohol poisoning,
illegal drug use, injuries, rape and death during students'
weeklong getaways have become common news headlines. A large
proportion of these incidents actually occur in foreign cities.
In fact, the U.S. Consulate in Merida, Mexico, says that during
the eight-week spring break period in 2002, U.S. students
accounted for two deaths, 360 arrests, four injuries requiring
medical evacuations, one rape and 495 reports of lost or stolen
property. One of those deaths included a drunken student in
Cancun who fell from a balcony.
While these stories are tragic, they are part of a harsh
reality that grows worse as more students travel overseas
for spring break. The situation, however, is not out of parents'
control. Experts agree that first and foremost, parents need
to establish an early habit of monitoring their children -
waiting until the teen years will most likely result in a
power struggle between parent and teen. The National Network
for Child Care says that monitoring your teen involves being
able to answer the following questions at all times:
- With whom is your teen spending time?
- Where is your teen?
- In what kinds of activities is your teen participating?
- When will your teen return and how will he or she get
home?
As soon as this practice becomes habit, monitoring can serve
as a foundation for an open and trusting relationship between
you and your teen. All adolescents will try new experiences
and even make some mistakes. That is why your job as a parent
is to provide guidance and support so that your teen will
make good decisions. The experts at Healthy Parenting Today
suggest keeping these monitoring strategies in mind as a means
of teaching your teen to be responsible for his or her actions:
- Talk with your teen. Monitoring
means being involved in your teen's life, and it includes
being an interested, active listener. Just by listening
to the accounts of your adolescent's day, you can show him
or her that you genuinely care about what happens to him
or her.
- Manage your teen's freedom.
Your adolescent should earn his or her right to more freedom.
With freedom comes the responsibility to endure the consequences
of choices. As your teen demonstrates responsibility at
one level of freedom, you can help him or her move to the
next level by giving a little more freedom.
- Set clear guidelines. Even
though your teen can handle more responsibility than younger
children, he or she still needs some boundaries and limits.
It is important that your teen knows exactly what is expected
of him or her. After discussing the rules, you may even
want to write them down to avoid discrepancy over what was
said.
- Stay in touch with your teen. If
your teen is supposed to be home at a certain time, plan
to be home at the same time. If you can't be there, call
to check on him or her or have a trusted neighbor check.
Unsupervised adolescents are less likely to get into trouble
if parents keep in touch with them.
- Set a good example. When
you go out, let your teen know where you are going, how
long you'll be gone and a number where he or she may reach
you. This provides an excellent role model of considerate
behavior.
- Meet your teen's friends. Much
of your teen's behavior will be influenced by his or her
peer group. Studies have shown that adolescents who have
a lot of unsupervised time on their hands are at risk for
developing deviant peer groups. Under the influence of deviant
peers, your teen could develop a variety of problem behaviors.
Get to know your teen's friends; better yet, get to know
the parents of your teen's friends. Both are a valuable
source of information.
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What
Parents Need to Know
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The key to more peace of mind is to stay informed. This involves
establishing a habit of honest communication with your child,
preferably before he or she enters the teen years. Experts
say that young children turn to their parents first for advice
and guidance, but once they reach adolescence, they tend to
rely on friends or other outsiders and the media for information.
That is why it is important that you talk to your child about
serious issues first, before he or she can become confused
from incorrect information. Children Now and the Kaiser Family
Foundation offer the following tips for keeping the lines
of communication open between you and your teen:
- Start early by discussing tough issues, including sexuality,
violence and drug use.
- Initiate conversations with your child.
- Create an open environment for conversation.
- Communicate your own values.
- Listen to your child.
- Try to be honest.
- Be patient.
- Use everyday opportunities to talk.
- Talk about issues again and again.
If you decide to allow your teen to take a trip with friends
during spring break, consider sharing the following information
and tips in order to prepare him or her for the tough issues
that he or she may face:
Drinking: Binge drinking is
the major culprit in alcohol poisoning. It also increases
the risk of car accidents and arrests for violations, such
as drunken driving, public intoxication and property destruction.
The best advice to give your teen is not to drink. If your
teen does decide to drink (and most will) or is of legal drinking
age, Be Responsible About Drinking, Inc., recommends sharing
the following advice:
- Drink only if YOU want to - don't let others dictate your
choice.
- Decide in advance what and how much you will drink.
- Plan how you will refuse once you reach your limit.
- Know what will happen if you violate state or local laws.
- Use a designated driver or choose public transportation.
Sex and Violence: A University
of Wisconsin study revealed that women with a higher alcohol
consumption were more likely to have been the victim of a
sexual assault. Regardless of gender, teach your teen to take
the following precautions:
- Don't drink too much. Drinking makes it easier for a person
to become either the victim or the perpetrator of a sexual
assault.
- Don't allow yourself to be taken to an isolated location.
- Use the buddy system. Don't walk alone. Attend large parties
with friends and leave with the same friends.
- Watch out for "rape" drugs. Don't leave a drink
unattended. Don't accept open drinks from strangers. If
you start feeling odd, put the buddy system into action.
Travel Scams: According to
the American Society of Travel Agents and the College Parents
of America, charter flight delays, hotel over-bookings and
non-delivery of services are common problems. Prepare your
teen by sharing these tips:
- Be skeptical about solicitations that sound too good to
be true.
- Research the travel company and don't give out credit
card numbers until you are sure the business is reputable.
- Get complete details in writing about any trip prior to
payment.
Traveling Abroad: In the last
several years, foreign tourism officials have been luring
thousands of American students to Mexico, Europe and the Caribbean
for spring break tours. Due to more lenient laws than those
found in the United States, students 18 and older have the
opportunity to drink and even take drugs overseas without
breaking the law. It is important to know, however, that these
foreign nations have laws and customs that could lead to a
student waiting in jail for up to a year before trial for
drug trafficking or other crimes. Before embarking on a vacation,
have your teen research the following information:
- Contact the foreign country's consular office or visit
the U.S. State Department's Bureau of Consular Affairs website.
- Check the country's entry and exit requirements, and take
extra copies of travel documents (driver's license, passport,
birth certificate, etc.).
- Review U.S. State Department travel warnings, which detail
crime and health risks.
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American
Society of Travel Agents
Be Responsible
About Drinking, Inc.
Children
Now
College
Parents of America
Healthy
Parenting Today
Kaiser Family
Foundation
National
Network for Child Care
University
of Wisconsin
USA
Today
U.S.
Consulate in Merida, Mexico
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