"You wanna cry because people died but you are so stunned you can't," says eighteen-year old Amanda.

Her sister Rena says she can't shake an uneasy feeling. "I still (feel) scared, like something else is going to happen to us."

"I was staring like, 'what happened, how did this happen'"? wonders twelve-year-old Osama.

Soon, shock and disbelief turned to anger and outrage. Arab and Muslim Americans were suddenly themselves under siege.

Ten-year-old Ahmad says, "My mom wouldn't let me go outside because she was afraid somebody might attack me."

"I felt worried that if they thought the Arabs or Muslims did this, it could affect all Muslims," says Osama.

Kasim, a thirteen-year old Arab American says he felt pressure from classmates. "Some people say 'your people bombed us.' I sort of feel embarrassed about it."

There are reports of more than 350 attacks against Arab Americans nationwide. A CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll reports 35 percent of Americans no longer completely trust Arabs who live here.

Young Arab-Americans say they feel like unfair targets. "It's really making me angry," Ahmad says.

Experts say parents need to help their kids steer clear of hate and frustration. "It's already a bad enough situation without making it worse, without condemning a whole group of people or teaching a child to hate people based on a certain way of speech or the way they look," says psychiatrist Dr. Vincent Ho.

The Bush administration has condemned acts of violence against Arabs and Muslims. Congress has even passed a resolution aimed at protecting their civil rights. There is also this reminder: for every Muslim who is a terrorist, there are millions who are not. And for those who might misjudge, the message is clear: "I just want them to know that we are Americans just like you," says fourteen-year old Lujayn. "We're feeling your pain and we are praying."

By Tom Atwood
CWK Network, Inc.

No child is born a bigot. According to the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), hate is learned, and it can be unlearned. Immediately following the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington, D.C., on September 11, 2001, Muslims in the United States sometimes became targets of threats and hate. Islamic schools were forced to close their doors for several days. What can parents do to teach their children religious tolerance?

Louise Derman-Sparks, a teacher and specialist in child development, says that parents need to keep in mind three major issues when talking to their children about prejudice and discrimination:

• Children are not colorblind. Children are acutely aware of our "shadings and gradations," and they need matter-of-fact, simple and truthful explanations of these differences.
  
• Talking about differences does not increase prejudice in children. Being aware of differences is not the same as avoiding, ridiculing or fearing specific differences. Children learn biases from important adults in their lives, from the media, from books and from friends.
  
• It is not enough to talk about similarities among people. While we want our children to understand the things that bind us as human beings, it is equally important that they understand that shared characteristics, language and customs are expressed in different ways.
  

From the Anti-Defamation League, here is a list of steps parents can do to prevent prejudice:

• Accept each of your children as unique and special. Children who feel good about themselves are less likely to be prejudiced.
  
• Help your children become sensitive to other people's feelings. Studies indicate that caring, empathetic children are less likely to be prejudiced. Share stories and books with your children that help them to understand the points of view of other people.
  
• Teach your children respect and an appreciation for differences by providing opportunities for interaction with people of diverse groups. Studies show that children working and playing together toward common goals develop positive attitudes about one another.
  
• Help children recognize instances of stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination. Make sure they know how to respond to such attitudes and behaviors when they see them in action.
  
• Encourage your children to create positive change. Talk to your children about how they can respond to prejudiced thinking or acts of discrimination they observe. Confronting a friend's discriminatory behavior is particularly hard for children, so they need to have a ready-made response to such instances. If another child is called a hurtful name, an observer might simply say, "Don't call him that. Call him by his name." Or, if your child is the victim, "Don't call me that. That's not fair." Or, "You don't like to be called bad names and neither do I."
  
• Take appropriate action against prejudice and discrimination. For example, if other adults use bigoted language around you or your children, you should not ignore it. Your children need to know that such behavior is unacceptable even if it is from a familiar adult. A simple phrase will do: "Please don't talk that way around my children." Or, "That kind of joke offends me." Adults need to hold themselves to the same standard they want their children to follow.
  

Anti-Defamation League
Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance