Teacher Trauma
More than one-third of last year’s retiring teachers cited student discipline problems or poor student motivation as a factor in their decision to leave. When the tables are turned, and students have problems with teachers, parents often jump in to save the day. They may be jumping in too soon, though.
Shannon Causby teaches a tough high school physics class. Her students quickly learn that her rules are firm. “Ian didn’t have his marker, so he got zero out of five for participation,” Ms. Causby said.
“I thought it was just another way that she was out to get me,” said Ian, 17.
Ian’s mother sided with him in the dilemma.
“His mother apparently got very upset about that, wrote this rather nasty note to me and copied it to [the principal],” said Ms. Causby.
Causby’s experience rings true to many teachers. Parents jumping into the scene too quickly, or without investigating the situation, can cause undue obstacles for teachers.
“When parents get involved, things escalate and get blown out of proportion,” Causby said.
What Parents Should Know
When parents jump the gun and attempt to handle the situation too soon, experts said that it could be the kids that loses a valuable lesson. Dr. Jennifer Kelly said that parents should let the child try to handle the situation before taking over.
“You really want to reserve that as the last possible step, because you don’t want the child to think that this is a way to get out of conflict,” she said.
Ian had his own reservations about handling the issue over to mom. “It’s kinda bad, because kids don’t learn any responsibilty,” he said.
Experts said that when kids complain about a teacher, parents should first check with other parents who have children in the same class. If the other parents don’t have a problem, it may be best to talk to the child further and make some possible resolution suggestions. If they decide that it is a minor personality conflict, the parents should encourage the child to work through the issue. On the other hand, if they see that it is more complicated, or a problem deserving greater attention, they should take action.
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“When parents get involved, things escalate and get blown out of proportion.” --Sharon Causby, School Teacher |
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Stand by your Teacher In anything other than obvious and extreme situations, many experts said you should support your teacher even though you may at times disagree with them. Psychiatrist and nationally syndicated columnist John Rosemond offers this advice: Talk to your child’s teacher and say “I don’t agree with how you handle some situations, but I will support your decisions, and insist my child obey you.” |
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Teach Coping, not Conflict In the real world, as they call it, adults aren’t allowed to hand-pick, with the exception of voting, their bosses and authority figures. When they do have trouble with someone they’re working for, they figure out how to cope and make an effort to improve the situation. Only in cases where all other options are exhausted will adults choose to quit their jobs or ask for a transfer. When kids have minor personality conflicts with teachers, parents should view it as an early practice ground for those later challenges. It’s a perfect chance for parents to offer their advice and experience in dealing with difficult people. That’s preferable to a parent |
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Resources
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National
P.T.A. National
Children's Coalition |
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