Cell Phones and Pagers

Cell phones and pagers for savvy businessmen and others in high demand—not anymore. Many teens are dialed into anywhere...anytime connection.

With kids on call, Mom and Dad may be more apt to let them roam.

“It was easy to giver her that freedom that she was really ready for if I had that mode of communication available,” said Debbie Johnson, mother of six.

The Johnson’s aren’t alone. More than 43% of American households have entered the cellular world, up 11% in just two years. This upward trend is expected to continue. Instant communication may comfort many parents, but experts see some potential hang-ups. “The idea of having a cell and pager creates a dilemma where you don’t have to really be there. You don’t have to establish real communication with your children. You can just dial 1-800 mom,” said Dr. Sherry Ramey, psychologist. Frequent “touching base” with a child could inadvertently lead to less real communication, relationship building communication. Dr. Ramey stressed that technology will never replace that “human touch”.

What Parents Should Know

It takes time to develop strong relationships and a parent-child relationship that evolves into “touch and go” communication could lose it’s depth and impact on the child.

“Technology is never going to replace that human relationship...there’s a price to pay for a parent not having that human contact...there may come a day where the only way you’re gonna be able to have contact is through a beeper,” said Dr. Ramey.

Dr. Sherry Ramey said that busy parents often feel guilty. They regret that they can’t spend as much time as they prefer with their children. The cell phone, she said, can become a means of easing the guilt. If a parent knows where a kid is and what they are doing, they feel like they are a part of their kid’s life. When, actually, they could be merely keeping track of their kids lives.

If a cell phone is used to compliment a relationship, it could be a valuable tool, but parents should take extra measures to make sure that their relationship with their child isn’t sacrificed. Sometimes a cell phone can be too convenient, experts said.

“You don’t have to establish real communication with your children. You can just dial 1-800 mom,”

-- Dr. Sherry Ramey, psychologist

Safety

Safety is one of the primary reasons parents are strapping cell phones on their children.

The streets aren’t as safe as they were twenty years ago, many parents said. Knowing that a child can call home or dial 911 in the event of an emergency soothes the soul of many parents.

While there is an added expense, most parents agreed that the pros outweigh the cons.

Setting Boundaries

If not monitored, a cell phone can lead to too much freedom. Setting boundaries and rules regarding whom a child can talk and the amount of time they can spend on the cell phone is important, Dr Ramey said.

A child given a phone for emergencies, or for specified purposes will respect that it is a privilege. On the other hand, a child given unlimited usage to a cell phone will likely abuse the privilege. Many parents set rules such as, “for emergency use only” or “to get in touch with mom and dad only”. Some parents allow their children to use the phone freely, but require the child to pay for usage above and beyond a set amount. Experts said that this helps the child appreciate the privilege of having a cell phone.

Resources
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