When To Date

How old should a child be before he or she is old enough to date. This is a question with many differing answers.

“My daughter talks a lot about boys right now, but she really doesn’t have the maturity to be pursuing anybody at this point,” said Janet Webb, mother.

“They say I can’t date until I’m 37,” said Whitney, 13 years old.

Every child matures at a unique pace, making it difficult to pinpoint one age in particular as the right age begin dating. Most parents settle on 15 to 16 years-old for the first date.

Studies reinforce parents’ intuition. While parents were focusing on the sociological aspects of maturity, important neurological developments occur at this age as well. The brain’s late developing frontal lobe, which governs attentiveness, impulse control, and planning, becomes fully mature around age 16.

“One thing that they could do is take a look at those abilities, planning, attentiveness and impulse control, in other situations, said Dr. Nick Defilippis.

Teens who possess these traits may be ready for the responsibility of dating.

What Parents Should Know

As kids hit middle school, many parents begin hearing terms that may seem a bit foreign. Words like “hottie”, “Betty” and “hook-up” leave many parents in the dark. While other words, like “going out”, “player,” and “dumped” have been universally used for generations.

Here’s an abbreviated glossary on teen dating terms which can assist parents in becoming a bit more hip (with it? cool?):

Going Out – Not actually going out on a date, but many kids who are not allowed to date yet but who like each other and want others to acknowedge this “union” say they are “going out.”

Like Like – A higher level than “like”...this means there is more than a passing interest and they are on the way to a crush. (See “Crush)

Crush – The act of liking but can also refer to the person to whom you are attracted, but are not dating.

Hottie – A very attractive person (can refer to either a boy or a girl.)

Player – A guy or girl who does not commit to a serious relationship; or someone who is already seeing someone but who is attempting to hook up with someone else. Pretty much the same old definition.