Attitude Adjustment

When a child turns that not so magic age, slamming doors becomes background music and rolling eyes are common expressions. Parents are in the way.

The communication barrier between parents and children often widens during a child’s early teen years, creating frustration for both the parent and the child.

“They ask why do you act the way you do...all the time I have the same answer...I don’t know,” said Carlese, 13.

The resulting frustration may send parents running in search of sanity, but Dr. Gary McGiboney, Ph.D., advised parents to know the difference between independence and exclusion. “How are they going to learn that if we don’t teach them.” This could be the time that they need you most.

Experts agreed that this volatile temper is normal during a child’s grasp for individuality.

Ashley, 13 years-old, agreed, “I think I have an attitude that just likes to prove her point and be able to say what she needs to say.”

Parents must remember that children are pushing boundaries in search of freedom, but they are still in need of direction and guidance.

What Parents Should Know

Simple conversations with your child have turned into family feud after family feud. You really just want to talk with your child, but you are constantly being pushed away. What do you do?

“Trust that inner core of yourself and know that a child is not only looking to test boundaries, but they are looking for guidance, said Pamela Lake, LPC.

Teenagers are often dealing with many difficult issues and they need a place to vent their frustrations. Parents are the safest answer. During a heated argument it may be difficult to feel as though they are leaning on you, but remaining calm could help keep the aggravation from mounting.

Remaining patient and thoroughly listening to your child, will likely teach them to do the same to you. By your respecting their opinion, you will hopefully get the same respect when you illustrate your point. Experts suggested that parents bargain with kids. If they truly want to plead their case, they will have to do so in a respectful and rational matter. Illustrating to them that exploding will only get them a quick “NO”, will positively reinforce rational conversation.