Discussing Gay Leaders

When the Boy Scouts of America battle to bar gay leaders became a national story, it raised a question for many parents? What, if anything, should they tell children about homosexuality?

“I think that most of the kids that I worked with knew I was different from the other teachers,” said Danny Cain, a former second-grade teacher.

Cain said that many of his second-grade students knew that he was gay, but he was forbidden from discussing it. He quit in frustration. Many parents are opting for silence.

Silence may be a mistake though. Unless kids hear differently, they will likely make independent conclusions regarding gay adults in their lives, experts claim. Many parents wait to long to let kids know how they feel about choices in sexuality.

Dr. Laura Mee doesn’t suggest broaching the subject “out of context“, but she does feel that if a child questions a specific person or incidence, parents should “try to answer those as simply as possible and see where the child [goes] from there”.

The key for parents is to convey a willingness to discuss the sensitive subject.

“I think that most of the kids that I worked with knew I was different from the other teachers,”

--Danny Cain, Former teacher

Harassing Gays

Gay teachers aren’t the only ones feeling targeted. Gay students are being tormented by their peers and it is affecting their mental and physical health.

A survey of high school students revealed that, of the gay five percent, 34% had been harassed. The gay kids were three times more likely than straight peers to be injured in a fight, twice as likely to have considered suicide and 75% felt unsafe in school.

What Parents Should Know

It is common for adolescents to have occasional same-sex attractions. It doesn't mean that they are gay or bisexual. It is normal now and it was normal 30 years ago. Experts agree that the difference is children understand the meanings of gay and lesbian at a much younger age now. It is these same sex attractions, coupled with a greater understanding of sexuality and homosexuality, during vulnerable years that causes confusion and stress for many kids.

In years past the topic of homosexuality was taboo. It was mentioned with a whisper. Since society and the media opened the closet-door to homosexual discussion it’s become a common topic. Many of our children’s leaders and role models are openly gay. Though it has offered break-through in equality for many, it can create question marks for many kids. Especially if they don’t discuss their thoughts or feelings with a parent or other adult.

During the early teen years children struggle with many sexual issues. While homosexuality is a hot topic, it is not socially accepted in many cases, especially with adolescents. If a child notices himself admiring someone of the same sex, it can be frightening or confusing. If the child feels comfortable enough to discuss the matter with a parent, and realizes that it does not automatically mean he is gay, he will likely be much more at ease with the situation. Experts also suggest conveying an accepting attitude regarding your child’s sexual preferences.

Parental Prejudice

Gay and lesbian teachers are among the most closeted of all homosexuals. Most fear that by disclosing their sexual preferences, they will lose or complicate their jobs. Students are aware of these fears, which can compound negative feelings towards gays.

Excerpts taken from autobiographical essays by gay teachers revealed common experiences. The majority of parents, even the most tolerant of parents, didn’t want their children being taught by homosexuals.

This lack of tolerance by parents has influenced many children. In many cases students have even taunted their homosexual teachers.

Resources

GLSEN BlackBoard On-line www.glsen.org/sections/library

Family Education.com – www.familyeducation.com

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