Raising Grandkids

Last year an estimated 3.9 million kids were rescued by grandparents who decided to take them into custody. Many of those kids come from homes influence by violence, drugs and other problems. Grandparents with limited resources are often forced to take the kids are relinquish them to state child care services. It’s often a difficult, heart wrenching decision. “I know what the system can do to children, sometimes they’re just as bad as abusive, neglective parents,” says Joan, who raises her grandson.

Financial strain is one of the most common problems. Joan was retired when her grandson came to live with her. “We don’t have a lot of money `cause she didn’t expect on taking care of me, so there’s not a lot of money there,” says Joan’s grandson Brian.

There are also increased physical and psychological demands. Experts say grandparents often forget one simple thing — to take care of themselves. Experts advise that exercising, eating right and having time away from the child will insure that they have a lot more to give when they’re with them. Judy Purdue from Project Health Grandparents says, “Put yourself first. I mean it’s kind of an unusual concept for a lot of people, but really, it’s to the benefit of the children…”

Positively Grand

Having a grandchild around has some positive effects too. Being around a younger person can bring youthfulness. Someone who may not have gone to sports activities or played child’s games for a long time may find new excitement in doing these things with a grandchild.

There is also opportunity for the grandparent and child to learn new things while they are spending time together. For example, an older person might be taught something about using computers, while a child can be given a lesson in history.

So, although taking on the responsibility of a grandchild can be difficult, there are many benefits to the relationship as well. Keeping this in mind, this can be an experience that is positively grand.

What Parents Should Know

Well meaning grandparents may confront several stressful issues when they take on the responsibility of caring for a grandchild full-time. It’s an experience that can be life changing.

Some grandparents are just finding free time for themselves when they are hit with the job of caring for a grandchild. This, of course, means less leisure time for someone who may be newly retired, or just beginning to feel relief from dealing with their own children and other responsibilities.

Another issue is how to communicate and relate with someone who is from a totally different generation. Most grandparents are well beyond the phase of handling the concerns of small kids and teenagers on a regular basis. And there can also be problems communicating with the parents of the grandchild who may not agree with how the child is being handled.

Financial strain is also often a matter of concern because many times the reason for having the child is because their parents can not afford to take care of them. This can be especially burdensome to retirees who are now living on a fixed income.