Time Out
More and more parents feel the need to keep their kids on the go whether it’s after school art classes, swimming lessons, kick boxing, karate, or music class. But psychologists say in the rush to create super kids, parents have forgotten one thing. Fun.
Fifteen year old Meredith comes home from a hard day of school and still has soccer, boxing, homework, basketball and chores on her to do list. “It’s hard to do all those things in one day,” says Meredith. Her Mom, Marianne, admits the schedule is grueling. “It’s very hectic,” says Marianne, “but life is hectic for all of us.”
Meredith’s schedule seems normal for many kids. Sixteen year old Ashley runs on a similar clock. “It’s stressful to keep up,” says Ashley. “I can’t say this is the most fun time of my life.”
Experts warn in the rush to create super kids we create super stress. Kids need time out to have fun, relax, and learn to entertain themselves. “When they’ve been pushed so hard they really don’t know how to sit down and have a good time,” says Carla Neal-Haley, MD Meredith‘s Mom agrees. “I see that maybe we’re raising kids that are constantly waiting for someone to tell them what to do.” That’s the minus.”
What Parents Should Know
The power of unstructured play can be crucial for a child’s developmental growth. Experts define play as spontaneous, non-stressful, self-initiated and most importantly fun. Psychologists say if it’s not fun, it’s not play.
When kids play, they develop cognitive, emotional, social and language skills. In the preschool years kids learn to imagine and pretend through the power of play. They also develop emotions like empathy and compassion as well as creative and abstract thinking skills.
In the elementary school years, play begins to teach kids about rules as well as social and moral issues in adult society. Children also learn to socially interact with one another and develop a sense of self. Psychologists say organized activities are important in the elementary years, but not at the expense of free time.
In the middle school years, experts say kids begin to move away from fantasy toward group oriented and competitive play. Still, kids need to have self-motivated play time and time to develop intimate friendships. Down time with friends allows kids to learn to trust and share feelings.
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“It’s stressful to keep up. I can’t say this is the most fun time of my life.” --Ashley, age 16 |
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Are We Having Fun? Apparently, all work and no play is the common plight of kids and parents as well. While kids grouse about no recess and too much homework, parents gripe about working too much and relaxing too little. In a recent poll of 2500 Americans, Yankelovich Partners asked people to list their top priorities for the coming year. The number one response for the fourth year in a row: “Have more fun.” |
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Alone Naturally Kids need to learn to spend time alone. Parents can help: Limiting organized activities and hectic schedules - Don’t over schedule kids. They need time to spend alone reading or playing in their room even if they complain about being bored. Teach kids the value of being alone - playing alone gives kids the chance to figure things out for themselves and learn independence. Allowing kids to be bored also allows them to find creative ways to entertain themselves. |
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Resources
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The Hurried
Child Your Child’s
Growing Mind |
For
more information on parenting issues contact us: Connecting with Kids |