From Boys To Men:
The Teen Years

Entering the teenage years, boys hit another rough patch in the road to manhood. Many boys indulge in high-risk behavior as they search for their male identity. Drugs, alcohol, violent behavior and underachievement in school plague many boys. Fourteen year-old Jerrod says that boys start using drugs and getting into trouble to become popular with their peers. "Popular is the big thing," says Jerrod. "Once you get there though, you‘re doing it to prove that you‘re a man."

That’s the problem, says Family counselor Kenneth Hoats. Hoats says that boys are engaging in high risk and self defeating behavior because of the fact that no one is teaching boys today what it is to be a man. "So many fathers are absent and not there for their sons and fathers are abandoning their sons emotionally, " says Hoats. "They are not teaching their young men how to be men."

Researchers say that a strong parental bond is the most important protective factor for kids, even more important than peers. So what does this mean for boys who don’t have proper male influences or guidance in their lives? Hoats says that in spite of high divorce rates and absent fathers, there is hope for our boys if we make them a priority. "There are stories of kids who have made it in spite of the deck being stacked against them," says Hoats. "Particularly young men."

Hoats believes that these lessons in manhood and of life need to come from other men. "There are grandfathers, uncles, mentors, men willing to spend their time to make having an influence on a young life a priority for them," says Hoats.

What Parents Can Do:
Boys Who Engage In Risky Behavior

Binge drinking. Incidents of binge drinking are much higher in boys than in girls. A survey completed in 1997 showed that nearly 22% of boys in the 9th grade and 40% of boys in the 12th grade had had five or more drinks in a row in the two weeks prior to the survey.

Aggression that turns to violence. Boys get arrested three times as often as girls do. Boys are responsible for 75% of all arrests and for 85% of arrests for violent crimes. The arrests for some nonviolent crimes, such as prostitution, embezzlement, and being a runaway youth, are even for girls and boys.

Suicide. Boys are less likely to attempt suicide but when they do, they are more successful in carrying out the attempt. According to information from the CDC, in 1995 3,000 boys attempted suicide. Of those 3,000 attempts, 260 ended in fatalities.

Eating disorders. According to the CDC, the number of boys who have eating disorders is rising. In 1995, 3% of 11th graders who were surveyed used laxatives or vomiting to lose weight.