From Boys To Men:
The Early Years

Entering the teenage years, boys hit another rough patch in the road to manhood. Many boys indulge in high risk behavior as they search for their male identity. Drugs, alcohol, violent behavior and underachievement in school plague many boys. Fourteen year old Jerrod says that boys start using drugs and getting into trouble to become popular with their peers. "Popular is the big thing," says Jerrod. "Once you get there though, you‘re doing it to prove that you‘re a man."

That’s the problem, says Family counselor Kenneth Hoats. Hoats says that boys are engaging in high risk and self-defeating behavior because of the fact that no one is teaching boys today what it is to be a man. "So many fathers are absent and not there for their sons and fathers are abandoning their sons emotionally, " says Hoats. "They are not teaching their young men how to be men."

Researchers say that a strong parental bond is the most important protective factor for kids, even more important than peers. So what does this mean for boys who don’t have proper male influences or guidance in their lives? Hoats says that in spite of high divorce rates and absent fathers, there is hope for our boys if we make them a priority. "There are stories of kids who have made it in spite of the deck being stacked against them," says Hoats. "Particularly young men."

Hoats believes that these lessons in manhood and of life need to come from other men. "There are grandfathers, uncles, mentors, men willing to spend their time to make having an influence on a young life a priority for them," says Hoats.

What Parents Can Do:
Raising Young Boys

Be there. All children, and especially boys, need to know that the two most important people in their life, mom and dad, will always be there for them.

Stay connected. Even as boys get older, they need their parents. Keep the lines of communication open with your son and stay involved in his life by picking him up from school or attending after school or sporting events together.