Empathy

Kids today live in an increasingly violent and cruel world. In television news reports and on the street, they see people in need. Yet more and more kids don’t seem to care. A recent study showed that 33 percent of kids asked said they know they should help others who are suffering, but don’t.

Experts say it’s up to parents to teach kids to be more caring. "Kids learn by example and their first example and their best example and the most lasting example is the behavior of their parents, " says Dr. Karen B. Dewling, a specialist in children’s health. "It’s so important for them to see their parents acting kindly."

Sixteen year old David Ziskind spends one day a week as a hospital volunteer. He was inspired by his mother. She brought him along with her to volunteer for a Special Olympics event when he was just seven years old. "I just thought that was wonderful, I thought, let me do what I can do," says Ziskind. "If volunteering will help them do their best, I’m gonna volunteer, do what I can."

Ziskind says that in spite of all of our daily commitments, we have to make time to care. "I think it’s a lot of time management skills and if you really want to, you can make the time to volunteer," says Ziskind. Dr. Dewling says that now more than ever we need to teach our kids to want to help one another. "I think we’ve all seen that our society has grown increasingly unkind, " says Dewling. "And in order to hopefully stop that trend, we really need to show kids that we value kindness."

What Parents Can Do

Model caring behavior. Parents who model helpfulness will develop in children the traits that make kids caring adults.

Monitor your own actions. Kids model what their parents do more than what they say.

Help kids develop a conscience. Children develop a conscience and personal standards of right and wrong through internalizing adults’ standards of fairness and kindness.

Take the time to listen. Give kids your undivided attention so they know they are important. Try listening for 10 minutes at least once a day.

Say you understand. You don’t have to agree with your child but make an effort to understand what your child is feeling.

Repeat. Learn to repeat what your child says. For example if your child says, "I’m really disappointed." Respond with, "I understand that you’re really disappointed."

Start Early. Psychologist say that children show signs of empathy as early as one year old. Most children display caring behavior such as hugging, kissing or patting someone in distress during or after an argument, injury, crying spell or illness.