Surviving Summer Camp
From the Moms Network
Got a camper? Free “letter-to-go” with fill-in-the-blanks makes it easy for your camper to stay in touch.
My middle school son can’t decide which toothpaste to use each morning (mint or cinnamon?) so what makes me think that he can decide in January that he wants to go to sleep away camp in July? But that’s what he said. And because he is 12 going on 20, I took him at his word.
What was I thinking?
All during the school year he was excited, thinking about which activities he’d choose, whether or not there would be a “camp dance,” and figuring out exactly how far north Maine is from Georgia (yes, Maine — why I couldn’t choose from the 120 camps within a two-mile radius of our home I have no idea). So, July comes, we label every garment and pack the duffle bag until it can barely zip – a task that by itself could swear me off of summer camps forever – and head for the airport. We meet some of his friends and their parents, and his dad and I say goodbye at the security check-in, leaving him in the very capable hands of the permanently cheerful camp chaperone.
Thank goodness we did not accompany him to the gate, because by the time I left the airport, I would have been walking with a hundred-pound child clinging to my ankle. Dragging my son through the terminal and down the escalator while he’s yelling, “Please don’t make me go!” would not have been a pretty sight for anyone. Instead, we left him with a hug and a kiss and these words of encouragement: “If you really think you are going to throw up, find a bathroom fast.”
His dad and I get in the car at the airport parking lot, and that’s when the phone calls began. Apparently he borrowed a cell phone from one of his friend’s moms at the gate (who, I’m sure, had no idea he would use it to beg, plead and negotiate with us) and called us five times in 10 minutes. Let me tell you: not turning around to get him was the hardest thing I have done since I gently placed him in his crib, only to sit outside his room and listen to him cry for an hour because Dr. Spock said that’s the only way to get a baby to sleep through the night and to learn to nurture himself. Okay, so where was this self-nurturing now?
During the first phone call from the gate my son was still understandable. “Please don’t make me go.”
The second phone call he was barely audible. “Please. Please. Please.”
The third phone call was, “I will never love you again.”
I took this as a sign of progress – he had moved from self-pity to blame.
The fourth phone call? I didn’t answer it. Nor the fifth. Or the sixth.
Then the calls stopped. And so did my heart. For a second or two, anyway…
That evening, the camp director called and said that my son was still a bit upset but certainly not the worst case of homesickness they had seen – not even that day. I sent a silent prayer to the parents of the children who were more anxious than mine, and hoped that they too, had turned off their cell phones.
By the next morning, my son had been appointed to the camp welcoming committee, had gone kayaking with one of the counselors, and had signed up for the ropes course, pottery, trapeze, archery and had tried out for the play and gotten a part. I resisted the urge to tell myself, “I told you so.”
Now it’s two weeks into camp, and I have heard from my son once. And that’s probably only because they require each kid to write at least one letter. The letter was upbeat, nearly illegible, and incredibly brief. What else could I ask for?
A lot of growing has happened in the two weeks since we left our son hyperventilating at the airport. Making new friends. Overcoming fears. Trying new things. And that’s just what his dad and I have been doing.
I can’t wait to hug the child who walks off that plane at the end of July. But chances are, this month away at camp will have encouraged exactly what all parents hope for on this journey from child to adult: a sense of independence, accomplishment and newfound teenage self-reliance that may make public hugs (especially from Mom) a thing of the past.
Click here for a free template that makes it easy for your kids to write home!
Print copies of this template and send with your camper along with envelopes pre-addressed and pre-stamped to you and one or two relatives that you know will write your child. Show your child how to “fill in the blanks” to make it easy to write home!
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 17th, 2007 at 2:48 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
July 18th, 2007 at 9:32 am
I can totally relate. Although my son didn’t put up as much resistance, he was very anxious about being away from home for 3 weeks. I was able to communicate with him by email, but he could only send letters. In his letters, he sounded great and was having fun. The best part of all is the change I saw in him when we picked him up. He seemed so much more mature and grounded. He was enthusiastic, had lots of friends and was excited to sign up for next year. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything and neither would he.
July 18th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I think it is great that he was able to mature that much from going away to camp for a month. I have never been interested in going to sleep away camp. However, I hear stories like this all the time and it makes me wonder what I missed out on. Every person I know that goes to sleep away camp tell me it is one of the best times of their lives! They seem to have such a great time. I wonder if I would be more mature than I am now if I had gone to sleep away camp when I was younger.
July 18th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
The first time I went to sleep away camp was my freshman year of high school, and I only went away one more year after that. Camp was fun, but it wasn’t something I looked forward to every year. I never had the camp experience that most kids dream of. My first year I was away for 2 weeks and went to an adventure camp where we hiked, went caving, white water rafing, camping, repelling, and more. It was a lot of fun, but camping was never my thing. My second year I did an Advanced Leadership Camp where we learned about leadership things and did more of the ‘camper’ activities: arts & crafts, banana boating, kneeboarding, ropes courses, met together to sing and do skits, ect. I went away for two more weeks to another leadership camp and religous camp. I just didn’t have time during the summers to take off. My cheerleading was a year round commitment and we could only miss so much practice. The one camp that I always wanted to attend was SCUBA diving camp where you lived on a boat and traveled around in the Carribean diving every day. I was never homesick until I went off to college, maybe because I was older or maybe because I was only gone for two weeks.
July 24th, 2007 at 11:55 am
I remember how traumatizing my first sleep away camp experience- I cried almost every day. I called home at one point and left a sobbing voice message for my family that they saved so the could play it for me when I got home because it was so sad. But I still went back the next year, and it was a blast!
July 24th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
I think it is amazing that he has matured this much from sleep away camp. I went to sleep away camp once and had a good time. I didn’t love it because it was so structured. I didn’t have a lot of free time because we had to go to our different activities all day everyday. I do wonder if I missed out on something by not going back, but I am happy with how I am today. It is really cool that he had an amazing time and that he learned so much from his experience.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:15 am
This is an awesome story. It must have been so hard for you to leave him there even when we was begging. It makes me think of all those times that my parents have made me do something and I didn’t want to. They knew what was best for me and what would happen if I went through with it. I’m so glad that he had a great time, and I am sure that this is an experience that he will learn from and never forget.
August 5th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Stacey, this is my first comment to you..I just found this part of the site. I’ve been in the community part for a month or so. Because I am so new to blogging, I often get lost..even though I have started my own blog..do you believe that? However, your experience was so funny..thank you for sharing. I think my daughter will be doing the same with her youngest this year he’s four when she sends him to preschool… It’s so hard to let go. I’ll have her read your story, she’ll laugh, learn and enjoy..thanks Dorothy from grammology, a 61 year old grandmother at http://grammology.com
May 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
It can be really stressful sending your kids away for the first time. I send my daughter to horseback riding camp and the first time she went she wanted to come home on the second day. Thankfully, the camp counselors were excellent and convinced here to remain, and for the past 2 years (she’s 15 now) she can’t wait to get away!