By Stacey DeWitt

You may have read one of the many articles that appeared in the media last week about “the most-praised generation in America” and how they are doing now that they are in the workplace. It is not a surprise to me that young workers seem to need praise to know they are doing a good job, but it is a shame. I’m not surprised because for years I’ve watched as sports and academic programs give children ribbons for sixth place … trophies to every team that merely shows up … bumper stickers that praise children for attending school. I believe we are doing a disservice to our children when we praise without substance; we rob them of the true value and feeling of self-satisfaction. 

I am a proponent of praise and kudos – when it is deserved. But to praise when it is not authentic is like creating an emotional dumbing-down. We do not allow children to get to a more sophisticated rewarding place internally if they are always dependent upon external feedback. How will they define who they are and what is truly important to them if they don’t develop this internal sense?

So, when studies reveal that bosses and managers can’t get young people motivated unless they praise them, I get worried. All through our lives we will have to make tough and sometimes unpopular decisions; we will often have to stand alone in times of adversity. If our kids don’t learn to do that, I don’t see how they can grow to be healthy adults. It reminds me of one of my favorite poems: If by Rudyard Kipling. To me, Kipling is talking about not relying on outside opinion, but rather, to believe in your internal voice.

My solution to the pitfalls of over-praising? Praise authentically and praise less. Praise the details of an accomplishment, rather than an overall “great job.”

Thanks for reading. You’re really awesome.

People who are interested in this topic were also interested in reviewing the Connect with Kids program, Affluenza.

By CWK Mom

Guest Blog from the Moms Network at Connect with Kids

I recently spent a weekend with several families I grew up with, and naturally when the Moms got together, the topic inevitably turned to our children – what they were up to, how we were handling different issues, when we could expect the roller coaster of adolescence to level off (answer from the mom of a college freshman: still waiting!) As the conversation threaded its way through dating, sports, school, camps, sibling rivalry and more, I marveled at the intelligence, insight and understanding that mothers possess. I thought I would let you in on the conversation and post of a few of the comments here. I hope some of you will take a moment to add your own words of wisdom to the question:

If you could share just one piece of parenting advice, what would it be?
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